How to Know if a Guy Likes You

Article Credit : http://www.wikihow.com/

Have a crush on a guy but not sure if the feeling is mutual? Or maybe you're curious as to whether that guy checking you out is doing so out of interest in you or he's just staring at the poster behind your head? Whatever the reason for your need to know, there are a few fairly certain ways of working out that a guy's definitely interested in you––or not!

1 Examine his body language. Body language can be the "big tell" when it comes to discerning if that guy fancies you enough to date you. Interestingly, body language experts believe that while females have around 52 body language tells to show a guy that they're interested, guys show around only 10. If you subscribe to this theory, this should make your guessing a little easier! All the same, you still need to know what to look for, as well as being sure that you're not mistaking innocent gestures for calls of love––the latter mistake could prove embarrassing. Some of the signs of body language to watch for include:

• He looks at you a lot. His eyebrow may even lift as he watches you ("the eyebrow flash" that lasts a fifth of a second). He might not even be really conscious he is watching you as much as he is.
• Notice how much he looks at your face and makes eye contact.
• He leans towards you a lot. Personal space invasion is a sign of major interest.
• Check the direction of his hands, feet, legs, toes, etc. If they're pointed toward you, it's a subconscious indicator of his interest in you.
• He starts grooming himself. He pulls at his tie to straighten it or he readjusts the fit of his sweater. Perhaps he runs his hands through his hair in attempt to tidy it or he reaches down to tie his shoelaces. Doing this repeatedly is similar to the actions of a male bird preening up his feathers for a display!
• Check out how he's sitting. If you see rather manly gestures, such as sitting with open legs or placing his hands on his hips, he's trying to impress.
• If he likes you, you may see that he rarely turns his back to you, often leans towards you, and also looks at you a lot. If he slouches his shoulders when near you, he's romantic and cares about what you have to say. If he points his shoulders and pelvis towards you while sitting, he is definitely feeling something for you.

2 Notice his eye contact. As already noted, a guy who is interested in you will look at you a lot, even if covertly. He may try to catch your eye or, if he's shy, he may suddenly turn his head away if you catch him checking you out. To test his interest, scan his face for four seconds, then look away (don't look any longer or it becomes awkward). Then look back––if he maintains or increases eye contact with you, he's interested. If his eyes wander to your mouth, he's definitely interested. If you feel like you have held eye contact just a fraction of a second longer than you would with anyone else, or if he looks away quickly, then there is something there. On the other hand, if he breaks eye contact with you and starts looking around the room, he's not interested in you.

• A gaze that has him looking left, then sweeping over your face, then looking right is a sign he's very attracted to you.
• Be careful not to confuse a shy guy's darting retreat from eye contact with a guy who is clearly disinterested. A shy guy who is interested will continue to steal glances at you. Be patient!
• If you don't like the guy, it can be uncomfortable to maintain eye contact; break it off quickly and scan the room yourself, as if looking for someone else.
• When he's around you and he says or does something funny and everyone around laughs, his eyes will flicker towards you for a second to see if you laughed too––this means he's keen to make a good impression on you.
• His pupils may dilate if he likes you, but this is quite hard to pick up on, and you might come across as acting strangely by looking that closely into his eyes. If you're around him for a long time, it could be easier to pick up on gradually.

3 Listen to what he's saying. If he likes you, and he's nervous or anticipating the chance to get closer to you, he'll probably start talking about himself. Many times, guys feel the need to prove themselves, especially if you talk about another guy in his company.

• Gauge his interest in what you have to say. It really doesn't matter what you say, it's how you say it that can tell you a lot about his level of interest. So, try this: Lean in and whisper, with your shoulder barely touching his and say something softly. To heighten the impact, steady yourself gently by brushing your arm across his back. If he moves his head closer toward you and either touches you back or maintains eye contact, he's interested in you. If he isn't interested, he'll probably step back or be very unresponsive. A really disinterested guy might even try to shoo you out of his personal space!

4 Notice his interest in touching and being touched. Touch is an important sign of interest in a developing relationship and you can assess interest both by observing how he touches you and how he reacts to you touching him. If he's keen on you, he might put his hand on yours when he laughs, he might gently brush his leg against yours but won't move it away again, or he may hug you for small things, such as greeting you, expressing emotions when telling a story or just because you "look like you need a hug." On the other hand, consider touching him to see what happens––a gentle brush of your hand against his neck, a hold of his forearm with your hand, or running your fingers across his hand after joking with him about something. He's interested in you if he responds to it and doesn't flinch away or if he moves his hand to stay on yours or on your arm or leg. On the other hand, if he tenses up or moves his hand away, he's not interested.

• If he is a shy guy, he may jump a little because he wasn't prepared for you to touch him. That doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't like you, watch his actions carefully afterwards.
• Obviously, playboy guys (bad boys) might be very keen to spread their touching gestures around; be sure that he has more substance than this by observing how he interacts with other women in your group.
• See if he uses any of the tricks in How to touch a girl, and see if he uses them more with you than with anyone else.

5 Watch his actions to see if he treats you differently from the rest of your group. If he's really interested in you, he may start to behave protectively toward you, or in a "gentlemanly" fashion (at least to the extent that he interprets his behavior as such). Look for signs like shifting his chair closer to yours, putting his arm around the back of your chair, leaving his jacket on the back of your chair or even going so far as to place the jacket around you to ward off your complaints of being cold.

• Be aware that some guys flirt with other girls to get your attention. It gives him a chance to see your reaction, and helps him know if you really do like him or not. (Yes, it's an odd sort of logic, especially since you might end up so offended or confused that you just give up on him!) However, you can usually spot a "get-your-attention" flirt if, in the middle of his flirting scenario, he keeps taking the chance to look at you, seeking out your response. You can also try a quick trip to the bathroom and find yourself a sneaky observation point to check out how the flirting is proceeding. If he stops the moment you've left, it's you he's serious about, not her. Alternatively, ask a friend to do some observing for you while you're away.

6 Watch for him showing a sudden, previously unexpressed interest in things that you like and do. For example, if you like a certain genre of music that he doesn't know as well, he may ask you to suggest bands or artists for him to listen to. Or, he may have gone to the trouble of finding out that a favorite band of yours is playing next weekend and mention to this, with or without a request to go and listen together. And, if you introduce him to a TV show that he didn't really know about and that becomes his new favorite thing, that can potentially be a sign that he likes you, especially if he goes out of his way to catch up with you to discuss the show's unfolding plot.

7 Check for signs of nervousness. Signs of nervous laughter, sweaty palms, deep breaths, fidgeting, or possibly even looking away quickly when you notice he is watching you, can all be signs of an attraction towards you. If he is nervous about making an impression on you, it means he's trying hard and you are probably very close to being able to start making moves.

8 Pay attention to his friends. If they know he's interested in you, they might tease him subtly when you're around, hint to you that he likes you, or even try to find out if you like him. Study their reactions to your presence––do they smile? Do they turn to him? Do they smirk in a way that suggests they know something that you don't?

• Be careful if a friend of his makes suggestions that a guy likes you but all of the other indications tell you otherwise. Sometimes friends have reasons of their own for ensuring that any chances of you getting together are ruined, including catapulting you into making a fool of yourself.

9 Look to see if he imitates you. Mirroring each other's actions is a sign of mutual like and generally, it's subconscious. If you notice that he has been copying your gestures frequently, there is a high probability that he fancies you. You can test this by mirroring his actions too, for example, touch your hair when he touches his, brush your face when he brushes his, sit the way he is sitting, etc. The subconscious signals will be screaming "I like you too!"

• Following you can be another sign; for example, if you buy lunch and sit at a table and he edges as near to, or even on the same, table as you, he is probably trying to get closer to you. Just be sure you're not confusing this action with there being a lack of space to sit anywhere else!

10 Pay attention to gentle, friendly teasing. If a guy teases you in a friendly and fun manner, it could indicate his interest, especially if he's young. Provided this isn't his modus operandi with every girl he flirts with, it's a sign that he's singled you out for attention and is trying to use his wit to charm you, in that awkward way of using humor to cover up true intentions. Of course, if he says something unkind or unfortunate, don't feel you have to excuse it––point it out if he offends you; it's best he knows now that you won't take nonsense than to discover it later.

11 If he hits you or playfully punches you on your arm, this may mean he likes you. A guy may gently hit or punch you on the arm as a covert, "manly" way of getting to touch you without making it too obvious what his intention is. If he finds that you don't pull away too much when he does this, he might find the courage to proceed to more gentle ways of touching you. Of course, this doesn't mean you need to sit there in pain if he actually hurts you––be assertive enough to point out that it hurt! You can salve his pride by saying something about not minding him touching you but to please watch out for your sensitive bony bits! And if you're the kind of girl who finds the play punching a bit of fun, give him a playful knock right back.

• Play punching can send mixed signals. It could mean "I treat you like one of the boys" and signal friendzone antics only. Check out whether he does this to other girls in your mutual group. Moreover, if he continues to think that play punching you is a fun way to hang out, you might be dealing with someone who is never going to get past this immature display of affection; don't let it go on indefinitely.
• If you don't like it, say so immediately. You are entitled to ask someone not to harm you, even if the gesture is well intentioned.

12 Acknowledge any compliments that come your way. If you do your hair or makeup differently one day, and the guy notices, that's a very good sign that he likes you. Most guys won't notice, or if they do, they won't be bothered to say anything unless they're totally into you. Anything like, "You look nice today," "I like that shirt," or even "Did you do your hair differently today? It looks nice," are all indicators that he could be interested in you.

• Note: If this guy is a good friend of yours, compliments won't necessarily be indicators of romantic interest. It could just be him being a truly good friend.
• Not all guys are this straightforward about compliments, so don't be worried if he doesn't compliment you.

13 Watch for him noticing 'masculine things' on you. For example, some of your dad's aftershave rubbed off on you when you hugged him. Your crush may say "is that aftershave on you?" Noticing this can indicate that he thinks the scent comes from another guy (and not your dad!), revealing some vulnerability about losing you out to someone else. This could also apply to having, carrying or wearing things that he might think belong to another guy.

14 If he chats to you often on a social networking site, it may mean that he likes you. After all, when online there are many things competing for his time, like games, connecting with mates and checking out sites that might not be so interesting to you… Of course, he could also just be talkative, friendly, or even bored, so don't assume he's into you just for chatting––this should be treated as one extra indicator along with some of the others outlined above.

• If he puts an 'x' sign on the end of everything he says to you, don't assume it means he likes you. It could just mean that he perceives you both as good friends or that he's just used to ending his chats that way.
• If he says, "I know something you don't know," then this could mean that he likes you and is playing a little guessing game. Or it could just mean he's doing the usual social media thing of spreading information for fun, like the discovery of a new planet or finding the cure to cancer, etc. Use the context to judge the import of any such online personal game playing.

15 Watch to see if he has suddenly developed a habit of turning up where you happen to be. If he suddenly seems to be in certain places at certain times of the day where you wouldn't necessarily expect to see him, it may be that he's taken to deliberately "finding" opportunities to bump into you. If it happens a lot in a short space of time, it's probably no coincidence but a concerted effort to catch up with you as much as possible.

16 Be receptive to his signals. If he shows genuine interest in you, (for example, he smiles at you a lot whenever the two of you pass each other or he goes out of his way to say hello to you), be friendly and polite back. If you've already decided that he's someone you'd like to date, don't let it go too long before facilitating an opportunity for the two of you to get together to talk in a quiet place. On the other hand, if he's not your type or you've changed your mind about flirting any further, be honest and let him know that you're flattered but you're not available.

'Breakups hit women harder, men just move on'

Article Credit : http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/

Women experience more emotional pain following a breakup, but they also recover fully as compared to men, according to a new global survey which included respondents from India.

Researchers from Binghamton University in New York and University College London asked 5,705 participants in 96 countries to rate the emotional and physical pain of a breakup on a scale of one (none) to 10 (unbearable).

The five countries with the most respondents were the US (63 per cent), India (7 per cent), Canada (5 per cent), and the UK and Germany (3 per cent) each. Researchers found that women tend to be more negatively affected by breakups, reporting higher levels of both physical and emotional pain. Women averaged 6.84 in terms of emotional anguish versus 6.58 in men. In terms of physical pain, women averaged 4.21 versus men's 3.75.

While breakups hit women the hardest emotionally and physically, they women tend to recover more fully and come out emotionally stronger. Men, on the other hand, never fully recover — they simply move on, researchers said. According to Craig Morris, research associate at Binghamton University and lead author of the study, the differences boil down to biology. Women have more to lose by dating the wrong person.

"Put simply, women are evolved to invest far more in a relationship than a man," Morris said.

"A brief romantic encounter could lead to nine months of pregnancy followed by many years of lactation for an ancestral woman, while the man may have 'left the scene' literally minutes after the encounter, with no further biological investment.

"It is this 'risk' of higher biological investment that, over evolutionary time, has made women choosier about selecting a high-quality mate. Hence, the loss of a relationship with a high-quality mate 'hurts' more for a woman," Morris said.

Conversely, as men have evolved to compete for the romantic attention of women, the loss of a high-quality mate for a man may not "hurt" as much at first, Morris said.

"The man will likely feel the loss deeply and for a very long period of time as it 'sinks in' that he must 'start competing' all over again to replace what he has lost — or worse still, come to the realisation that the loss is irreplaceable," he said.

Morris said that breakups are important because most of us will experience an average of three by age 30, with at least one affecting us strongly enough that it substantially decreases our quality of life for weeks or months.

"People lose jobs, students withdraw from classes, and individuals can initiate extremely self-destructive behaviour patterns following a breakup," he said.

"With better understanding of this emotional and physical response to a breakup — post relationship grief — we can perhaps develop a way to mitigate its effects in already high-risk individuals," he added.

The study was published in the journal Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences.

War Heroes

Women more attracted to war heroes

Article Credit :  Jagran Post | http://www.mid-day.com/articles/

London: Women are more inclined to date war heroes than regular soldiers or men who display heroic traits in other fields, such as in sports or natural disaster work, says a research. On the contrary, men find female heroes, both in combat and in disaster zones, less sexually attractive than their non-hero counterparts, the findings showed.

"This provides evidence for the hypothesis that gender differences in inter-group conflict can have an evolutionary origin, as only males seem to benefit from displaying heroism," said co-author of the study Joost Leunissen, psychologist at the University of Southampton. In the study, 92 women studying in Britain were presented with hypothetical profiles of the opposite sex, representing varying levels of heroism in different contexts such as warfare, sport and business. Women were more likely to find a soldier attractive, and were more inclined to date him, if he had been awarded a medal for bravery in combat. Displays of heroism in other fields, such as in sports or in business, also had no effect on how likely women were to find them attractive. Again, heroism in combat increased women's levels of sexual attraction towards male soldiers, but heroism in a disaster zone had no impact. Female heroes, both in combat and in disaster zones, were deemed less attractive by men than their non-hero counterparts. - 

Platonic Infidelity

Article Credit :  Anindita Ghosh / http://femina.in/

Not all infidelity is sexual, but the platonic variety can be more devastating to your relationship.

What if it isn’t lipstick on his collar as much as her number on his speed dial? Not all infidelity is sexual, but the platonic variety can be more devastating to your relationship. Here’s why.

When Rachita* Shah’s husband became distant both emotionally and physically, she feared he was having an affair. But all she could rely on were her instincts because there was no suspicious trail to follow. No unaccounted-for absences, no reports from friends about any other woman on the scene. Finally, one day, Rachita discovered chats on his laptop with a woman. “The endearments were flowing freely and, of course, hurtful conversations about how I was such a nag,” adds Rachita. “And when I confronted him, he was unfazed, as he claimed that she was just a friend and that I was being paranoid since they had never even slept together.”

IT’S EASIER TO HIDE

Dr Shirley P Glass says in her book Not “Just Friends”: Rebuilding Trust And Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity, “Whereas women tend to regard any sexual intimacy as infidelity, men are more likely to deny infidelity unless sexual intercourse has occurred.” Emotional infidelity is a kind of cheating that appears on the surface to be less harmful than physical infi delity, since the breach that occurs is subtle. According to Dr Sameer Malhotra, director, Department of Mental Health and Behavioural Sciences, Max Hospitals,“It’s serious because it means that your partner is communicating with someone else what he should be telling you. There is also a breach of trust and respect, since there is an element of secrecy that differentiates it from a genuine friendship.”

THE LINES ARE BLURRY

Since these affairs seem harmless, they can hide in plain sight—or on your newsfeed. With people spending more time online and at work than with their partners, the need for an emotional anchor outside the main relationship makes itself felt quickly and the solution is just a click—or cubicle—away. As Dr Glass explains, “…Friendships, work relationships, and Internet liaisons have become the latest threats to marriages. As these opportunities for intimate relationships increase, the boundary between platonic and romantic feelings blurs and becomes easier to cross.”

YOUR JOB HAS BEEN OUTSOURCED

One of the ways you know your partner is cheating on you is if he suddenly withdraws or excludes you from certain aspects of your life together. When 36-year-old lawyer

Bidita Banerjee’s* husband announced gleefully how he had reconnected with his schoolmates through a group on Facebook, she was unfazed. However, she started getting worried when she found her husband on Whats app with one of his old schoolmates all the time.“She was suddenly his greatest confidante. I was the outsider, while she was privy to all his thoughts and emotions.”

WHAT NOW?

If you and your partner have decided to put the affair behind you and move on, the first step is to repair your relationship. “Emotional infidelity often suggests that there are chinks in the marriage,” says Dr Malhotra. My experience has shown that less time spent together and a breakdown of communication is often fertile ground for such

affairs to flourish.”

Ego

Ego, it's not worth it

EGO: Three letters that stop us from saying the three words that our hearts are dying to say like ‘I love you’, ‘I am sorry’, ‘Please forgive me’, ‘I miss you’.

EGO: Thatcentres on ‘me’ rather than ‘we’.

EGO: That has no relationship skills and only creates conflicts.

EGO: The death of happiness.

Ego is essentially an illusion -- an exaggerated notion we have of ourselves, which is not reality. It creates chaos within and around us, creating unhappiness. An egoist has a grandiose sense of self importance, is rigid, attention-seeking and uncompromising in behaviour, constantly blaming others, complaining and avoiding any responsibility for the problem or the solution, needing excessive admiration, constantly expecting special treatment, envious, has a haughty attitude, unable to accept a mistake and apologise and unable to see good in others. That’s a lot to handle for one person!

No one is born with an ego. Ego comes in when emotional needs are not met; life becomes a constant struggle, fending off loneliness, fear, emptiness and rejection. This lack is compensated by domination and a superiority complex. As a society we need to be concerned that this type of behaviour is on the rise. We are constantly trying to be cleverer, more talented, and more attractive than the next person. We have trouble accepting criticism and extending empathy because we are too busy being judgemental and are too pre-occupied with our own lives. Expectations are just too high. It starts at home where undue pressure is placed on children to outdo each other. In the work place, friendships and even parenting, the pervading culture seems to have become one of competitiveness, superiority and one-upmanship. Egoist attitudes adversely affect workplace and personal relationships and worse still, these traits continue to transmit to the successive generations of offspring. As the ego becomes strong, it surrounds intelligence with a thick layer of darkness making our minds become closed and impenetrable.

Love, compassion and acceptance of self are what it takes to let go of one’s ego and all the conditioning that goes with it. Ego can never be fully eradicated, but the moment we become aware of our ego, it ceases to be ego, but just an old conditioned pattern. According to Osho, any action that leads to misery comes from a space of ego; if it leads to a beautiful feeling of blessedness, it was from nature as anything from nature is harmonious and just fits in. He also advises noticing the intention behind each action and not being in a hurry to sacrifice ego or else the greatest egoist is born. The person, who thinks he is humble and has no ego, is the biggest egoist of all. This is the same story played on a subtle level.

When nails grow long, we cut the nails not the fingers; similarly, when misunderstandings crop up, we need to cut the ego not the relationship. When you truly care for someone then mistakes should not change your feelings towards them because it is the mind that gets angry, but the heart always cares. No relationship dies a natural death; it is killed by ego, attitude and ignorance. Romantic heartbreak has got to do more with ego and pride than of the actual loss.

As ego is dropped, love, peace and happiness arrive from all directions. It becomes easier to live in the present moment and to enjoy life to the fullest. Accessing our inner courage, calm and gratitude, breathing these qualities throughout our beings and choosing our words, thoughts and actions in alignment, can quickly change situations for the better. The idea is to consciously sail away from ego battles into calmer waters of real love.

As Julian Michaels rightly said, “A bad day for your ego is a good day for your soul.”

Article Credit : http://www.hindustantimes.com/

Know about Men

Everything you wanted to know about men 

Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive.

It's not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they've been together for 3 years or more.

A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be matured and grow up.

When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do.

Guys have strong passion to change.

Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed pussycats with their girlfriends.

When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he's sweating. You'll see that he is nervous.

When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just saying, "Please come and listen to me"

When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.

If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen.

If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something. (He generally has a lot of frustration in mind then)

Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first sight, but court girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.

Guys like femininity not feebleness.

A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him. (So girls you should think of making the first move)

A guy would waste his time over video games and basketball, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.

Guys love girls who can cook.

Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!

A guy's friend knows everything about him. 

Article Credit : http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/

Increment

Good increment at work can affect relationship!

Professional growth often translates into rise in income and April is the much-awaited month, when employees are acknowledged for the work they do around the year. However, there are times when a good increment or promotion might not bring as much joy in your life as expected. This is what Arpita Bagchi and Varun Nair (names changed on request) experienced. They tell us their stories.

'I was a coward'

I married my boyfriend in May, 2012. We started dating while working at an ad agency. He was part of the creative team; and I was responsible for managing clients. Though issues related to money never bothered us when we were dating, things started changing after marriage. When I got my first bonus after marriage, I threw a party, and bought furniture for the house. He seemed happy with the gesture. But after a while, I realised he was avoiding talking about work. Whether it was my professional achievement or any problem in office, he seemed completely disinterested in the topic. He even refused to go out with me, citing reasons such as fatigue or work that needed immediate attention. As a result, he started spending more time at work and would often come home drunk. I spoke to his sister and parents about his indifference towards me. He told them there was nothing to worry about. I tried to convince myself that things would be fine soon.

In May 2013, on our first wedding anniversary, I wanted to do something special to cheer him up. That was also my appraisal month. While I got a good increment and promotion, he didn't bother to tell me about his. One day, when I was talking to him about going on a holiday, he exploded in anger and accused me of trying to get an upper hand in our relationship. He revealed that his hike was not up to the mark only because of my presence in his life. He said that planning a trip during a crisis was my way of humiliating him. He apologised after a couple of weeks, but things were not the same. I was not able to concentrate on my work and my performance levels dipped. I couldn't deal with this conflict, and felt stressed at work. I ultimately quit my job because I wanted to put an end to this inferiority complex that my husband was going through. We are still together. I am currently working from home. I didn't give up my career only because I loved my husband, but because I was a coward and didn't want to go through a divorce.

 - Arpita Bagchi, writer

'She thought of me as an under-achiever'

After five years of marriage, my wife left me. Both of us are software engineers. In 2013, she got a job offer from Australia. She asked me to shift with her. I told her that I was content with my position here and asked her to reject the offer as she was already doing well at her present organisation. Though she reluctantly let go of the offer, she got a good increment in her company here. However, after this episode, we started drifting apart. She got busy with work and we hardly spent time together. She even started getting annoyed while talking to me and would find faults in whatever I did. She would say my lackadaisical attitude was getting on her nerves. She also did not like being seen with me at social gatherings. When she had a party to celebrate her appraisal, she did not invite me. She thought of me as an under-achiever and felt humiliated to introduce me to her friends. I started suffering from depression. I tried switching jobs to match her level. But she was earning twice as much as me. After a while, she told me how miserable she felt being with me, and filed for a divorce. I was depressed. I got rid of this trauma only after taking a counsellor's help.

 - Varun Nair, software engineer- As told to Sonashree Basu

Dos and don'ts  

* Couples should see themselves as a team. Rather than comparing their income individually, they should consider it as a boost for family growth.

* Don't let ego come in your way. Focus on taking up a few activities that you both like to do together to strengthen the relationship.

* If you know your partner is financially weak, don't try to undermine him or her.

* If the problem is not dealt with the right attitude and at the right time, it can manifest into something big. So, make sure you communicate.

* The best way to deal with this is either to take up jobs in different profiles or communicate with empathy.

* If the situation gets out of hand, take professional help.

- Kinjal Pandya, relationship counselor 

Article Credit : http://www.hindustantimes.com/

Living In

Now, living in = being married

Original Source: femina / http://femina.in/

Image Credit : http://tutzone.org/

Live-in relationships are a growing reality in our society. However, the lack of security has made such relationships socially unacceptable in most parts of the country. However, the recent ruling from the Supreme Court might change the way we look at couples in live-in relationships.

In a recent judgement Supreme Court has ruled that an unmarried couple living together would be presumed legally married and the woman would be eligible to inherit the man’s property after his death. The bench was headed by Justices MY Eqbal and Amitava Roy and ruled that “a couple living together for a number of years would rightfully lead them to presume that the couple was, for all intents and purposes, married.”

We hail the Supreme Court for the progressive decision. Here’s what women in live-in relationships have to say about the ruling.

“The ruling is very empowering for women in live-in relationships. I can now ask all those who ask me questions like ‘what about your future’, ‘what if he never marries you’ to shut up and let me live.”

Sunaina Krishna, 30 (living-in since three years)

“When I decided to live in with the man I fell in love with, it was only to analyze how good house mates do we make. Going out to eat, watch movies and long drives is okay for you just spend a few hours together. But staying together is another ball game. We made a great boyfriend-girlfriend, I wanted to understand and be sure if we can make a great married couple too. Now, after living-in with him for about two years, though I am sure that I want to spend my life with him, I do not find the need to get married. I am happy with the SC’s ruling since I feel this will somewhere help in removing the societal taboos on live-in relationships.”

Reeta Pahuja, 31 (living-in since two years)

“What a way to shut up all the nosy neighbours and aunties who are so concerned about ‘when will you get married?’. Live-in relationships are practical and giving it legitimacy is a great decision. While this gives women security, it will also help commitment-phobic couples to make that big decision.

Disha Mehta, 29 (living-in since a year and a half)

“I feel this might act as a deterrent in some cases where couples get into this comfortable setup to avoid getting tied down to each other for a lifetime or want to take time in understanding if they are ready to live a life together. However, in cases where the man wants to move out and the woman wants to get married, what choice will it leave for the man? Also, it is all good that the woman will inherit the property after the partner’s death but what about her financial security while he is alive? What if she loses a job or decides to be a homemaker? There needs to be proper legal solutions to every possible scenario that might arise out of a live-in set up to really help the couples in such relationships.”

Archana Gaurav, 30, (living-in since two years)

Types Of Guys Women Avoid

8 Types Of Guys Women Avoid

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Have you ever wondered if the way you act makes women cringe? Have you ever worried that your behavior might be making them run in the other direction?

Just as women are attracted to certain archetypal men, there are other types of men that women go out of their way to avoid. And this is especially true during the early stages of a relationship, when a woman is trying to gauge a man's personality.

Below are eight types of guys that women consistently stay away from. I have compiled this list from conversations I've had with numerous women regarding the behaviors they dislike in men.

But don't worry if you recognize some of the following traits in yourself -- most of them aren't deal-breakers. The idea here is not to completely change your personality, but rather to keep certain female-unfriendly behaviors in check. Read on to find out what women dislike, so you'll be able to make a better impression next time around.

The Misogynist

This guy makes no secret of his bitterness toward women. On a date, he can't help but exude negativity toward his companion and the entire female gender by making rude and insulting comments.

Why He's So Unappealing: This is the only type of behavior on this list that is, in fact, a total deal-breaker. And it's not surprising. What woman do you know who would like to be in a relationship with a man like this?

What to Do If You're That Guy: You need to take a good look at why you feel this way about women. Misogyny tends to say more about the man in question than about women in general. Regardless of the root cause, you need to address your misogyny and change your attitude if you want to spend time with women who don't hate themselves.

The Self-Righteous Guy

This guy is very judgmental. He probably doesn't drink or smoke, and he doesn't hesitate to tell others to follow suit. From the very first date, he'll preach to a woman, telling her she shouldn't drink wine or get dessert.

Why He's So Unappealing: No one wants to be judged, especially on a date. She'll just find it annoying and rude.

What to Do If You're That Guy: You can preach a little once you're actually in a relationship. But until that point, her drinking, smoking and dessert-eating habits are none of your business.

The Arguer

This type of guy turns every conversation into an argument. When he takes a woman out, he makes her feel like she's in debate class rather than on a date. And in doing so, he makes her feel defensive and self-conscious.

Why He's So Unappealing: A date should be a pleasant experience, but if she's on the defensive the whole time, she will not be enjoying herself. Remember this: Constant arguing and debating is a stress -- and you certainly don't want her to associate you with a stressful experience.

What to Do If You're That Guy: Most importantly, relax. If you are this type of guy, you probably revert to debating because you are nervous or unsure of what to say. So before the date, brainstorm conversation topics and questions you can ask her. That way, you won't be as likely to revert to arguing during lulls in the conversation.

The Cheap Guy

He invites a woman to dinner and then subtly suggests they go Dutch. He never splurges to buy her flowers and he always opts for the cheapest wine. He makes her feel like they're on a tight budget from the very first date.

Why He's So Unappealing: Your first few dates should always be carefree; the words "saving" and "budget" shouldn't come up. If she spends the first date picturing a lifetime of penny-pinching with you, you're out of luck.

What to Do If You're That Guy: Loosen up the purse strings a little when you're courting a woman. You don't need to spend a fortune to make a good impression, but you do need to make her feel like she's special. Flowers are a nice touch once in a while.

The Boorish Guy

The Boorish Guy doesn't try to hide the fact that he's checking out other women while in her presence; he flirts with the waitress and he even goes as far as to brag about his past conquests. Overall, he lacks respect for women.

Why He's So Unappealing: Not only is this type of behavior infuriating, it can also be bad for a woman's self-esteem. If you act like this when you're first getting to know a woman, you won't stand a chance.

What to Do If You're That Guy: If you can't curb this kind of behavior permanently, then you at least have to keep it in check when making a first impression. Keep your flirting and wandering eyes at bay -- and maybe eventually it'll become a habit. Because, truthfully, if you introduce this kind of behavior into a relationship at any point, she won't be pleased.

The Arrogant Guy

He has a huge ego and he's condescending. He's also rude -- not necessarily to her, but to anyone he perceives as beneath him. And that's just as bad as being rude directly to her.

Why He's So Unappealing: A woman often looks at how a man treats other people to assess his personality. So, even though you might be nice to her on a date, she'll be paying attention to how you act with other people too.

What to Do If You're That Guy: No woman wants to be talked down to, so I shouldn't have to tell you to shed the ego when you're dealing with her directly. But in order to really impress her, you need to treat everyone around you with a certain amount of respect -- because she'll be watching.

The Predictable Guy

Women don't like the Predictable Guy because they know exactly how he'll react to everything. He follows formulas and never wants to do anything differently. For example, he'd never surprise a woman by spontaneously taking her out for the night.

Why He's So Unappealing: Women look for a certain amount of unpredictability in a man -- they want a free spirit. This is why some women seem to be drawn to the notorious "bad boy." It's not that they're drawn to his badness, exactly, but rather to his unpredictability.

What to Do If You're That Guy: You don't have to be "bad" or a completely free spirit to win her over. But try to mix things up -- particularly at the beginning of a relationship. Call her and tell her you want to go to the countryside for the day, or for an impromptu meal. After she gets to know you, she won't mind as much if you slip back into your routine a bit. But don't forget to continue to surprise her once in a while -- doing so will keep the relationship fresh.

The Needy Guy

He is overly emotional and shares all his feelings with her right away. The Needy Guy also doubts himself and needs constant reassurance about his relationship, work and friendships.

Why He's So Unappealing: Confidence and independence are very sexy traits in a man -- insecurity and dependence are not. Most women look for a strong partner they can lean on. So if you're always leaning on her -- especially in the early stages of a relationship -- she might doubt your ability to fulfil that role. Starting a new relationship can make anyone feel nervous -- don't burden her with your insecurities, too.

What to Do If You're That Guy: Timing is everything, so you just need to keep your feelings in check at the beginning of the relationship. Try to hold off on sharing all your feelings or divulging your insecurities. Once you're far enough along in the relationship, you can share as much as you want. By that point, she'll appreciate knowing what's on your mind.

Article Credit : http://www.askmen.com/

Low self-esteem

Low self-esteem could kill your love life

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If your partner is not engaging in an open and honest conversation about your relationship, it may not be because they do not care but rather because they feel insecure and are afraid of being hurt, finds a study.

People with low self-esteem are more likely stay in unhappy relationships but this could do more harm then good. Sufferers of low self-esteem do not tend to voice relationship complaints with their partners because they fear rejection. "Our study suggests that in romantic relationships, the partner with low self-esteem resists addressing problems," said study author Megan McCarthy from the University of Waterloo in Canada. Researchers found that people with a more negative self-concept often have doubts and anxieties about the extent to which other people care about them. Sufferers believe that they cannot speak up without risking rejection from their partner and damage to their relationship, resulting in greater overall dissatisfaction in the relationship. "This can drive low self-esteem people towards defensive, self-protective behaviour, such as avoiding confrontation," McCarthy added. The study is important for understanding how intimate partner communication can help improve the love lives of people around the world. The findings were presented at the Society for Personality and Social Psychology's 16th annual meeting in California recently. 

Article Credit : http://www.mid-day.com/articles/

Woo your Girl

Laughter best tactic to woo your girl: Study

Image Credit : http://www.indiatvnews.com/news/

If you want someone to open up to you, just make them laugh.Sharing a few good giggles and chuckles makes people more willing to tell others something personal about themselves, without even necessarily being aware that they are doing so, finds a new study. Such self-disclosure can be of a highly sensitive nature - like sharing one's religious convictions or personal fears - or a superficial titbit such as one's favourite type of food.These are among the findings of the study from University College London (UCL) and published in the journal Human Nature."This seems to be in line with the notion that laughter is linked specifically to fostering behaviours that encourage relationship development, since observer ratings of disclosure may be more important for relationship development than how much one feels one is disclosing," said lead researcher Alan Gray of UCL.

investigate the role and influence of laughter in this disclosure process, Gray and his colleagues gathered 112 students from Oxford University in England, into groups of four.The students did not know one another. The groups watched a 10-minute video together, without chatting to one another.The videos differed in the amount of laughter they invoked, and the amount of positive feelings or emotions they elicited.One featured a stand-up comedy routine by Michael McIntyre, another a straightforward golf instruction video, and the third a pleasant nature excerpt from the "Jungles" episode of the BBC's Planet Earth series. The levels of laughter and the participants' emotional state after watching the video was then measured.Each group member also had to write a message to another participant to help them get to know each other better.The participants who had a good laugh together shared significantly more intimate information than the groups who did not watch the comedy routine.Gray suggests this is not merely because it is a positive experience, but because of the physiology behind a good laugh.It actually triggers the release of the so-called "happy hormone" endorphin. The findings support the idea that laughter encourages people to make more intimate disclosures to strangers.Interestingly, the person who disclosed information was seldom aware that he or she had done so. It was only the listener who realised that it had happened."These results suggest that laughter should be a serious topic for those interested in the development of social relationships," Gray said. 

Article Credit : http://www.mid-day.com/articles/

Rebuild Trust in a Relationship

Three ways to rebuild trust in a relationship

This might sound clichéd, but it's true when they say: "Trust takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair."

When someone you love breaks your trust, it's very difficult to believe them thereafter. Some relationships are weakened by it while some come out stronger. It is possible to repair trust in a relationship, provided both parties are willing to work on it.

Here's how you can fix it:

*Own up: If you are the one who's made the mistake, own up and acknowledge that you have screwed things up between you and your significant other. Be the one to tell her/him. Not wait for your significant other to find out by themselves or worse have someone else tell them about it.

*Discuss: The key to any successful relationship is honest communication. Be prepared to answer all questions, honestly and openly. If you are going to start off on a clean slate, then it's important to have an open discussion. It's not going to be easy, but it can be done. If needed, go to a counsellor and work through your issues.

*Prove your trustworthiness: This is going to be a tough exercise because there is a tendency to become complacent. Make sure you do everything you can to make your significant other trust you again. Winning his/her trust back is not going to be easy. Follow through on your actions because as they say, actions speak louder than words.

Article Credit : http://www.hindustantimes.com/

Things a man wants in a woman

Are you a single woman who has kissed umpteen toads but not yet landed the Prince? Or are you just holding on to something that was never meant to be? If you want to know what makes a man fall for a woman and willing to walk her down the aisle, read on...

1. A woman with her own life: Ladies, please note that he doesn't want someone clingy. If you are one person who has her own set of friends and can hang out by yourself, you are closer to hitting the jackpot.

2. No first move: OK, so is it ladies first or do men get be gentlemen and ask the lady out? The guy likes a woman who never makes the first move. He wants to decide how he's going to woo you serenade you - so be a lady and let him!

3. Love's in the air: Does your heart beat faster when you see him? Does his voice make you want to see him? While some may experience these, others may feel a sense of comfort and security when with him. This makes for a good foundation to take the relation ship.

4. Show you care: Someone said don't sweat the small stuff. But in a new relationship you definitely need to! Doing little things to show to him that you care will make his heart grow fonder.

5. Sexy yes, slutty no: Don't indulge in PDA right off the bat - you are likely to scare him off! Men like to take it slow and prefer being nonsexual but flirty in the initial stages of the relationship.

6. Wait for sex: Don't jump into bed on your first date. Sex can effectively ruin what could otherwise be a beautiful relationship. Both of you may end up having very little in common other than sex. So wait a while before you seal the deal.

7. No-nonsense: A man wants a woman he can respect. If he knows he can't get away with anything, he's likely not to go down that path. Also, don't date a guy who is seeing other women, married or abusive - they are just not worth it.

8. Be his buddy: Make him feel good in front of his friends and important people. Don't laugh at him but with him.

9. Lay off: If you are the kind who will call, text and mail your man umpteen times a day, rest assured he will run out the door in a jiffy. Don't badger him, especially about the future. Take it as it comes and things will just fall in place!

10. Good attracts good: If he is well-mannered and gentlemanly, then you have scored a 100! As dating experts say, "Good manners are a sign of what kind of man he is." Ensure that you have similar values and he's dependable and truthful.

Article Credit: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/man-woman/10-Things-a-man-wants-in-a-woman/articleshow/7998884.cms

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day Ideas for Every Couple

Planning a Valentine’s Day date is not an easy job. You can’t be too sure if a date idea will be considered too casual or intimate by your partner. We put together date ideas according to the different stages of a relationship. Choose the right one for you and your partner.

New relationship: It’s been only a few weeks since you starting dating this guy. Impress him with a nice dinner reservation. Dress to impress in a flirty dress and sexy heels and maybe dark eye make or red lips. Don’t go over the top, but order some nice wine and in case your date offers to pay for it, politely refuse him at first or go dutch.

Steady: You’ve been together for a year now. You may be past your honeymoon stage, but plan something fun with your boyfriend. You could even go a double date couple friends who you’ve known a while. Go out dancing, bowling or even to a theme park and have a blast!

Committed: You’ve said the three magical words to each other. You are at a stage where you can live with each other’s flaws. Make it an indoor picnic with all kinds of picnic foods like barbequed veggies, chicken sandwiches, cheese and crackers. Follow it up with a movie that both of you like and a session of passionate love-making.

Engaged: This probably will be the most romantic Valentine’s Day for both of you. Pamper him and yourself with a couple’s spa treatment. This will take the stress off each other especially if you are amidst planning a wedding. You could then take him for a lavish lunch followed by a late evening stroll by the beach.

Married: You don’t have to make this a stay-at-home date just because you are married. Surprise your spouse by taking him on an early morning drive to the nearest hill station. Follow a trekking trail or go to a wildlife sanctuary if you have one in your city. Treat him to a laden picnic basket once you reach the end of the trail. If both of you have some time off work commitments, head to a resort that offers glamping (i.e camping in stylish tents sans the mosquito repellent)

With kids: Being a full-time or even a part-time parent can take a lot of your energy. So, make arrangements to leave your kids with their grandparents or trusted relatives and go off to the nearest beach resort. Book a table on a yacht, order in some fancy wine/ champagne and, sit back and enjoy some romantic time with your husband.

Image and Article Credit: http://idiva.com/photogallery-relationships/valentines-day-ideas-for-every-couple/19336/8

Mother and Daughter

Suchitra Sen (Mother of Mon mon Sen and Grand Mom of Riya and Raima Sen)


Mon mon Sen (Daughter of Suchitra Sen and Mother of Riya and Raima Sen)


Rima Sen (Grand Daughter of Suchitra & Daughter of Mon mon Sen and Sister of Raima Sen)


Raima Sen (Grand Daughter of Suchitra & Daughter of Mon mon Sen and Sister of Riya Sen)


Sharmila Tagore (Mother of Soha Ali Khan)


Soha Ali Khan (Daughter of Satmila Tagore)


Tanjua (Mother of Kajol and Tanisha)


Kajol (Daughter of Tanuja and Sister of Tanisha)


Tanisha (Duaghter of Tanuja and sister of Kajol)


Hema Malini (Mother of Esha Deol)


Esha Deol (Daughter of Hema Malini)


Babita Kapoor (Mother of Karishma & Kareena Kapoor)


Karishma Kappor (Daughter of Babita and Sister of Kareena Kappor)


Kareena Kappor (Daughter of Babita and Sister of Karishma Kappor)