Ego, it's not worth it
EGO: Three letters that stop us from saying the three words
that our hearts are dying to say like ‘I love you’, ‘I am sorry’, ‘Please
forgive me’, ‘I miss you’.
EGO: Thatcentres on ‘me’ rather than ‘we’.
EGO: That has no relationship skills and only creates
conflicts.
EGO: The death of happiness.
Ego is essentially an illusion -- an exaggerated notion we
have of ourselves, which is not reality. It creates chaos within and around us,
creating unhappiness. An egoist has a grandiose sense of self importance, is
rigid, attention-seeking and uncompromising in behaviour, constantly blaming
others, complaining and avoiding any responsibility for the problem or the
solution, needing excessive admiration, constantly expecting special treatment,
envious, has a haughty attitude, unable to accept a mistake and apologise and
unable to see good in others. That’s a lot to handle for one person!
No one is born with an ego. Ego comes in when emotional
needs are not met; life becomes a constant struggle, fending off loneliness,
fear, emptiness and rejection. This lack is compensated by domination and a
superiority complex. As a society we need to be concerned that this type of
behaviour is on the rise. We are constantly trying to be cleverer, more
talented, and more attractive than the next person. We have trouble accepting
criticism and extending empathy because we are too busy being judgemental and
are too pre-occupied with our own lives. Expectations are just too high. It
starts at home where undue pressure is placed on children to outdo each other.
In the work place, friendships and even parenting, the pervading culture seems
to have become one of competitiveness, superiority and one-upmanship. Egoist
attitudes adversely affect workplace and personal relationships and worse
still, these traits continue to transmit to the successive generations of
offspring. As the ego becomes strong, it surrounds intelligence with a thick
layer of darkness making our minds become closed and impenetrable.
Love, compassion and acceptance of self are what it takes to
let go of one’s ego and all the conditioning that goes with it. Ego can never
be fully eradicated, but the moment we become aware of our ego, it ceases to be
ego, but just an old conditioned pattern. According to Osho, any action that
leads to misery comes from a space of ego; if it leads to a beautiful feeling
of blessedness, it was from nature as anything from nature is harmonious and
just fits in. He also advises noticing the intention behind each action and not
being in a hurry to sacrifice ego or else the greatest egoist is born. The
person, who thinks he is humble and has no ego, is the biggest egoist of all.
This is the same story played on a subtle level.
When nails grow long, we cut the nails not the fingers;
similarly, when misunderstandings crop up, we need to cut the ego not the
relationship. When you truly care for someone then mistakes should not change
your feelings towards them because it is the mind that gets angry, but the
heart always cares. No relationship dies a natural death; it is killed by ego,
attitude and ignorance. Romantic heartbreak has got to do more with ego and
pride than of the actual loss.
As ego is dropped, love, peace and happiness arrive from all
directions. It becomes easier to live in the present moment and to enjoy life
to the fullest. Accessing our inner courage, calm and gratitude, breathing
these qualities throughout our beings and choosing our words, thoughts and
actions in alignment, can quickly change situations for the better. The idea is
to consciously sail away from ego battles into calmer waters of real love.
As Julian Michaels rightly said, “A bad day for your ego is
a good day for your soul.”
Article Credit : http://www.hindustantimes.com/
