‘Distance’ is the one-word reason that countless couples have ended their relationships. While being in a long distance relationship can sure be tough, it does not have to take a toll on both of you. iDiva tells you how you can bridge the gap
Trust is most important to build the foundation of a stable relationship. There should be a level of commitment between the couple even before considering a long distance relationship. Inherent mutual trust built up over time helps withstand any sort of challenges that come along. An on-again, off-again relationship does not have the surviving power that a stable one does.
Transparency and honesty help a relationship grow and can only happen if there is no game playing and manipulation. A man and woman who are together because they want to be and not because they have to be, share a solid bond. “I have been in two serious long distance relationships and both times I never second guessed my choice because I knew that was where I wanted to be. You learn to live away from the person and cherish the moments you have together. Trust is the one thing that gives you the strength to do that and feel secure,” shares Nidhi Awasty, 23.
Why is it difficult?
Very simply put, man is a social animal and is not attuned to living a solitary life. It is definitely better for a relationship if there is minimal distance. But, if both partners believe that they can see a future together, it is not impossible to overcome the distance. “The hardest part is the physical distance because it gets frustrating when you want the person you love to be around. Of course, you learn to deal with it maturely, but you always miss the person,” says Sanjana Keshava, 25.
There needs to be acceptance of the situation and mutual loyalty, so that together you can come up with solutions to work through the time apart. It might even be harder if the couple isn’t married. “Three of my five-year relationship has been long distance, and there are times when we are miserable because we’re so far away from each other, but we both know that we would be even more miserable if we weren’t together at all,” adds Manini Chadha, 23.
People have differences in temperament. Hence, while some can handle the distance, some cannot. It is not a question of strength or weakness, and you shouldn’t berate yourself if you find that you are the type who can’t do it. Being true to yourself will save you and your loved one from unnecessary pain and heartache later on.
What you can do before he leaves
Reassess. Ask yourself if you see a real future with this person in the first place before jumping into a long distance relationship. Evaluate the benefits of being with him and ask yourself if you are willing to put in the extra effort. Of course, duration of the time apart as well as the situational circumstances play an important role in your individual decisions.
Define your boundaries. Talk to your partner and decide what is okay and what isn’t when you both are apart. Some sort of rules always help if either of you are feeling alone and vulnerable towards breaking it up.
Communicate. It becomes doubly important to open the channels of communication when you choose to do long distance. This ensures that you stay connected and involved in each others’ lives. You definitely need to brush up on your communication skills because you will have only words to connect you. Work out a plan if you are in different time zones and use whatever technology available to communicate be it chat services, skype, cellphones and texting.
Plan trips. Try and meet as often as possible so that you both have something to look forward to.
Pay attention to your needs. You must not feel shy of your physical needs and deny them. Instead, find more innovative ways, involving your partner to spice up your sex life.
Don’t clutch at straws. If you feel like you have grown apart and the relationship has run its course, have the courage to bow out with no regrets. It is not a good idea to hold on to a relationship only because you’re used to it and it is a habit.
Image and Article Credit: Idiva.com