Understanding Women

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Women don’t really have asecret language, but they manage to have secret meanings for a lot of the simple and really basic things they say. Here are the keywords and their meaning.

Fine

Usually used by women to end an argument. She knows she’s right but has realised that a fathead like you will not acknowledge and abide by her superior judgement. So she says ‘fine’ to shut you up. Don’t think you have won the argument though. She’s just waiting for you to drop your guard because when you do, Round Two will commence.

5 Minutes

When she says ‘five minutes’, she expects you to have enough sense to patiently wait for at least an hour. After all that’s what you say when the match is on and you’re supposed to take her out to dinner.

Nothing

Equivalent to ‘An idiot like you will never understand what I am going through.’ It’s usually said before a ‘five-minute’ long argument and often ends with the word ‘fine’.

Go ahead (with eyebrows raised)

Don’t confuse it with an assent or permission. A ‘go ahead’ with raised eyebrows is nothing short of a dare, which if you accept will cause your woman to launch into a ‘five minute’ argument over ‘nothing’.

Go ahead  (with eyebrows lowered)

This essentially means ‘get out of my site for ‘five minutes’. ’Do it, because if you linger she’ll change her mind and will insist on arguing with you for ‘five minutes’.

Loud Sigh

While not a word, it’s still as meaningful a statement as any in the English dictionary. A ‘Loud sigh’ can be decoded as ‘why is this idiot not listening to me’ after I have spent more than ‘five minutes’ arguing with him over ‘nothing’.

Soft Sigh

Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. ‘Soft sighs’ are one of the few things that some men actually understand. This means a woman is content and your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

Thats okay

Words that should immediately put you on your guard because when a woman uses this seeming reassuring phrase, she’s just groping for time to gather her forces. It’s all the more dangerous if she actually uses it in conjunction with the ‘fine’ and the raised eyebrow ‘go ahead’. From hereon you should plan your moves very carefully because at some point in near future, when she has planned, plotted and prepared, she will make you pay for your sins.

Please do

Its not an offer but a statement meant to be taken as a challenge. The women just wants to hear your excuse for doing whatever it is you did. Try to make your tale as convincing as possible ‘cause if she doesn’t believe you, you will get a ‘that’s okay.’

Thanks

You are actually being thanked by a woman. Cherish the moment because finding a woman in a grateful mood is rarer than sighting a blue beaked Hornbill.

Thanks a lot

You’re not being thanked. She’s not grateful. When a woman says ‘thanks a lot’ you have done something that’s pissed her off. ‘Thanks a lot’ will usually be followed by a ‘loud sigh’. Be sensitiveenough to ask where you went wrong, but be prepared to accept ‘nothing’ for an answer. 

Article Credit: MensXP.com