About Women

After a date, CALL.

We’re buzzing the moment you drop us home. We’re analysing each and every single thing you did or said and of course, our closest girlfriend has to know it all. And if you said you’d call, then you’d better call the next day itself! We tend to get obsessive and it sucks when most of our time is spent waiting by the phone and hoping you’d call. So please call otherwise we’re just going to curse you.

Pay us compliments.

Okay, so we’re not gods but we like to be worshipped like we are. Pay us compliments so we know we didn’t waste our time getting our hair and nails done for nothing. And do not ever make the mistake of talking to our chests the entire time. Another thing; god forbid you check out another woman, the moment we catch you (and we will thanks to our X-ray vision), you're dead meat! 

Everything’s wrong when we say nothing is.

That’s as direct as it can get. If you catch us in a bad mood or very to ourselves and ignoring you then you better believe that you did something. And don’t even bother asking us because we won’t tell, you just have to figure it out and do damage control asap! Don’t try humor here, flowers and household chores are a better alternative. It might get us to talk, and by that we mean telling you how inconsiderate you are.
 
We take long. Get over it!

We like looking pretty. That’s not a crime, is it? So when we say one hour we mean two. So you’d rather just wait instead of getting mad. Our hair not curling properly because of your calls and messages asking us why we’re late is not going to help the situation; in fact; it’ll get us even more aggravated. 
 
Sex is not just sex! 

And you definitely don’t go to sleep right after. We’re have an inbuilt cuddling sensor. So no cuddling means we’ll probably erupt and the sex we just proclaimed 'awesome' no longer be. So you might as well add it to your sex vocabulary from now onwards. Once we’ve fallen off to sleep, you can go to your side of the bed and sleep in peace. 
 
It’s okay to lie.

Wipe off that evil grin. We mean only in certain situations. If we ask you if we look fat, say no. If we ask you if our nose is too big, say no. If we ask you if we’re the best you’ve had in bed, say yes. You get the drift. Anything you say is highly dangerous in situations like this because we will never let you forget it and we’ll probably abstain from sex for weeks. And there really won’t be much you can do to correct it. 

Image and Article Source: idiva